Posts tagged live

My heart is soaked in defeat, drowning in this magnitude of self-doubt and loathing. Feels like I’ve fallen too far out of the reach for kindness and into a disparity amongst souls as lost as mine. I’m overwhelmed with un-triumphant battles in a war too trifling to win. This life is expressionless, devoid of meaning and lacking passion. Where does one find the will to live when it is lacking of will to start?

“‎​Twenty-three and twenty-four were some of the most confusing times of my life. Twenty-five is so much more clear and simple. As far as doing more for yourself. Fuck yeah. Do it. Don’t wait for others. You really are far too kind and I’ve learned that those types of people are only happy if they expect nothing in return. I always thought I never needed anything in return. I am a giver too. But the reality of the matter is if its not returned then you’re wasting your time. Even if you don’t want to think so. As far as people being disappointing. That’s the name of the game. The percentage of people that can fulfill your needs for a relationship and friendship is extremely low. They are all out for themselves. Even your closest friends can become strangers. The only thing you can do is to keep your head up and move forward. Even if it means change. Change from what you’ve known your whole life…bottom line is there are going to be times that you feel like you’re drowning. And there are going to be times that you want to drown. The light is not always visible. And there are no answers. Faith and love are not enough. Finding happiness has no map. Make your own but also know that being unhappy does not mean that you have failed. It means that you are alive and well.”

-CHB